Former Liverpool star breaks down in tears as he recalls struggles after retirement

Former Liverpool star breaks down in tears as he recalls struggles after retirement

Former Liverpool star Jason McAteer has opened up about his struggles with mental health after he retired from football

Former Liverpool star Jason McAteer broke down in tears when recalling his struggles with mental health after retiring from football (Image: Tales, Tears & Trophies podcast - YouTube )

Jason McAteer broke down in tears when recalling his struggles with mental health after he retired from football. The former Liverpool midfielder hung up his boots in 2007 and in his autobiography published in 2017, revealed that he struggled with depression and thoughts of suicide after his football career ended.

The 53-year-old recently sat down with former Manchester United defender Mikael Silvestre for an episode of beIN SPORTS’ Tales, Tears & Trophies podcast .

‌

And in emotional scenes, McAteer recalled how he once stopped himself from taking his own life before opening up on how much he misses playing football since retiring.

“I just had no purpose, mate, it was no structure,” the former Liverpool star told Silvestre. “The TV stuff, I mean I wasn't working every day of the week.

“It would be like maybe one show a week or maybe two shows a week. It was very sporadic. Days and days and days with nothing to do, yeah.

‌

“And I got to the tunnel, that tunnel between the Wirral and Liverpool. My child, who I was keeping this relationship with under difficult circumstances, lived on the other side of this tunnel.

“And I was driving through the tunnel, and it upsets me, because it takes me back to this moment because I can feel it. And as you go out the daylight into the tunnel light, it's like this kind of light.

“I remember thinking to myself, I'm just going to swing the car here and just end it. That's how easy it is. And I was fighting myself not to do it, fighting going ‘do it, do it, do it, do it do it’.

‌

“And I'd be like, ‘no’. ‘Do it’. ‘No’. And I'd be fighting the steering wheel and I remember coming towards the end of the tunnel and it was like the daylight was opening up.

“And I remember coming out the tunnel thinking ‘thank God, just thank God’. And I went to get my little boy, because I always used to take him to the pictures. I took him to the pictures and I drove home.

Mental health support Helplines and support groups The following are helplines and support networks for people to talk to, mostly listed on the NHS Choices website Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you're feeling, or if you're worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.

CALM Campaign Against Living Miserably (0800 58 58 58) is a leading movement against suicide. It runs a UK helpline and webchat from 5pm to midnight 365 days a year for anyone who has hit a wall for any reason, who need to talk or find information and support.

PANDAS (0808 1961 776) runs a free helpline and offers a support service for people who may be suffering with perinatal mental illness, including prenatal (antenatal) and postnatal depression plus support for their family or network.

Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won't show up on your phone bill.

PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is an organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.

Mind (0300 123 3393) is a charity providing advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. They campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding.

Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.

Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying.

Amparo provides emotional and practical support for anyone who has been affected by a suicide. This includes dealing with police and coroners; helping with media enquiries; preparing for and attending an inquest and helping to access other, appropriate, local support services. Call 0330 088 9255 or visit www.amparo.org.uk for more details.

Hub of Hope is the UK’s most comprehensive national mental health support database. Download the free app, visit hubofhope.co.uk or text SHOUT to 85258 to find relevant services near you.

Young Persons Advisory Service – Providing mental health and emotional wellbeing services for Liverpool’s children, young people and families. tel: 0151 707 1025 email: support@ypas.org.uk

Paul's Place - providing free counselling and group sessions to anyone living in Merseyside who has lost a family member or friend to suicide. Tel: 0151 226 0696 or email: paulsplace@beaconcounsellingtrust.co.uk

The Martin Gallier Project - offering face to face support for individuals considering suicide and their families. Opening hours 9.30-16.30, 7 days a week. Tel: 0151 644 0294 email: triage@gallierhouse.co.uk

James' Place - supports men over 18 who are experiencing a suicidal crisis by providing quick access to therapy and support. Call 0151 303 5757 from Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 5.30pm or visit https://www.jamesplace.org.uk/

‌

“I got to my mum’s. My mum lived 10 minutes around the corner and I knocked on a door and I remember just saying, ‘I can't do it anymore. That's it, that's it’. And I was just at that point.

“Oh man, it was tough. Just like everything had gone… I don’t half miss it. I miss… I miss everything about playing. I miss it.

“Yeah, I just miss it. Just like running, just running out, just running out, just free on a footy pitch. No problems…

Article continues below

“I need to sort myself out here. No problems, nothing in life is a problem for that 90 minutes. It’s just the best. It’s just the best.”

McAteer joined his boyhood side, Liverpool, from Bolton Wanderers in a £4.5m deal in the summer of 1995. The Republic of Ireland international made 139 appearances for the Reds, returning six goals and 18 assists, before leaving for Blackburn Rovers in January 1999 after falling out of favour under new manager, Gerard Houllier.

Click here to read article