Cats apologise for controversial dress-up party costumes

After a sad Sunday, Geelong launched into Mad Monday, which morphed into bad Tuesday before they finished the drama with a media release on hopping-mad Wednesday.

Before the AFL even had the chance to say “not happy Jan”, the Cats’ wheels were spinning to address the embarrassment from inappropriate costumes and offensive social media posts from players, prompting a club-wide apology.

Now, it appears, Mad Mondays are dead.

That’s a bit sad. The Cats had won a reputation for good humour and occasionally pointed yet harmless costumes at their annual fancy dress party designed to amuse.

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On the list of football-related matters we should mourn, the killing off of Mad Monday is not quite as sad as the disappearance of the centre bounce, the burying of “the Colliwobbles” or the demise of footy at suburban grounds.

But it’s still a bit sad, as it was part of footy’s cultural milieu.

A few outfits such as Matthew Scarlett as Kevin Bartlett in 2008, and Geelong’s senior players as senior citizens after their 2022 flag, live long in the memory.

They were funny.

None carried any sense of nastiness, which is the way some of the Cats’ costumes and accompanying social media posts were interpreted this week (and for good reason) in an era where it’s becoming harder to stand out without yelling something nasty.

As a result, I think the Cats need to appoint a costume safety officer with the responsibility to get Mad Monday right.

To kick that role off, we have a few suggestions of what the Cats could wear in 2026 so that their Mad Monday tradition can continue.

Therefore, next year, Geelong players are allowed to dress up as:

The GMHBA taxpayer-funded scoreboard

Patrick Dangerfield’s wetsuit

A large parcel of land

Jeremy Cameron’s tractor

A thin headband

The top four

A team sheet with a late change

Pre-1897 premiership cups

A Ford motor car, Cotton On T-shirt, or a Morris Finance loan

The away team’s coaches’ box

In the interests of not upsetting anyone, players are banned from dressing up as:

Chris Scott (he seems to get on people’s wick for some reason)

Bailey Smith (aaaaaggghhhh)

An AFL sanction (no one would know what that is anyway)

It’s going to be a tough job for the costume safety officer because humour in the age of social media, an on-edge populace, a voracious media, image-conscious corporates such as the AFL and a rapidly shifting zeitgeist, is hard enough for professional comedians let alone footballers, who are mostly, even at Geelong, in their 20s.

It’s all made dress-ups by footballers a recipe for disaster, as the Giants would well know from last year, when their end-of-season party – which was far more disturbing – resulted in 13 players being punished for their “controversial couples”-themed event. Even dressing up as a disaster is a disaster.

But even if Mad Monday can’t be revived, I’m sure that a few Cats will be secretly relieved.

Some of them must have felt as comfortable attending the function over the past decade as blokes at the races wearing matching Hawaiian shirts to celebrate a bucks party.

On Wednesday, Geelong collectively took responsibility for the party and the outrage .

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