Van Nistelrooy already has 'big issue' with Leicester player which shows he must learn from Slot

Ruud van Nistelrooy has a lot to learn from Liverpool manager Arne Slot, while Pep Guardiola should show ‘grace’ like Jurgen Klopp and Sir Alex Ferguson.

Is this all a joke to you?

Fair play to Arne Slot, who has selflessly helped establish that quotes only have to be signposted specifically as a “joke” three separate times for them to actually be described as such in the media.

“This is not the place for me to talk about Salah’s contract and maybe already, I’ve said too much about the joke I just made,” the Liverpool manager said after suggesting that the Egyptian forward’s recent comments about Manchester City implied he “knows more about” their 115 charges than anyone else – that Salah only said “this is the last City game I will play for Liverpool” because he thinks their punishment if found guilty will involve relegation.

“It was a joke. I repeat, it was a joke,” Slot added. “That will probably get the headlines.”

And it did, but Slot stressing how it was a “joke” ensured that those headlines reflected as such instead of being twisted into some Manchester City relegation dig nonsense. It shouldn’t have required him saying it was a “joke” three times but that is the stage football reporting has reached.

That much is made clear by this Daily Mirror headline:

‘Ruud van Nistelrooy admits ‘big issue’ with Jamie Vardy over broken record’

By the first paragraph, ‘Van Nistelrooy admits’ has received a massive downgrade:

‘Ruud van Nistelrooy has joked that he and Jamie Vardy have a “big issue” with the Leicester man breaking his goalscoring record in 2015.’

The problem? Van Nistlerooy quite foolishly did not specify that he was joking. He might have thought that much was obvious when he said “it’s a problem he broke my record, I said to him we have a big issue to get out of the way!” with a smile before lavishing praise on Vardy, but without telling the assorted journalists he was joking three times he cannot possibly expect not to have his words and the context in which they were delivered twisted beyond all meaning for clicks to tease yet more Leicester in-fighting.

A little Pep in your step

This is slightly weird from David Anderson in the Daily Mirror, raging at Pep Guardiola ‘behaving like a spoilt child’ and ‘displaying a much-less appealing side’ to his character. He seems rather understandably offended by those ‘hand gestures’.

‘He has hit out at his critics, saying City’s rivals will be enjoying their struggles. But isn’t this the case for every manager of a big side?’

Yes. Probably why when talking about pressure and responsibility just before the Liverpool game, he said “all the managers have that”.

And is ‘saying City’s rivals will be enjoying their struggles’ really ‘hitting out at his critics’? Or is it just stating an actual fact? It would be weird if he said Liverpool supporters will be hating this Etihad crisis.

‘No British side, definitely not City, is bigger than Manchester United, yet Erik ten Hag did not lash out as their rivals gleefully lapped up their demise.’

Ten Hag very specifically started having digs at his pundits and critics towards the end of his reign. He dedicated most of the aftermath of his FA Cup win in the summer to taking pops at people who said he was rubbish. And so he should; managers take more than enough and it’s only fair they get to give some back.

But this is sensational:

‘Even Jurgen Klopp learned to accept defeat, especially when up against City, and his press conference before the second leg of their Europa League tie in Atalanta was about “failing in the most beautiful way”.’

Jurgen Klopp might be the single worst example to ever give of someone who takes defeat graciously. He was a famously incredibly sore loser. At no stage had he really ‘learned to accept defeat’ and quotes he gave ahead of a European second leg after losing the first 3-0 at home do not change that.

But back to Guardiola, who ‘always was arrogant, but now he’s becoming prickly and sarcastic’. Has Anderson not been following Manchester City for the last eight years? Has he never heard Guardiola speak until these last few weeks? Is he genuinely under the impression that only now is the Spaniard ‘becoming prickly and sarcastic’?

‘Sir Alex Ferguson didn’t lose much either, but he still displayed grace.’

F**king hell. Mediawatch was wrong. Klopp wasn’t the worst possible example to give after all. Guardiola should simply be more courteous, civilised and accepting of defeat like Ferguson.

Poets’ corner

‘Amorim introduces rarely-seen pre-match training tactic before 4-0 Man Utd win’ – The Sun website.

Are you sat down? Amorim did something ‘bonkers’ against Bodo/Glimt but the big foreign tactical nerd might have gone too far this time. He has ‘surprised Manchester United fans’ now.

How? They ‘watched their favourite Premier League team practising CORNERS’! Before a game against Sean Dyche’s Everton! He’ll never last in Our League.

STOP right now, thank you very much

Another headline on The Sun website raises an eyebrow or two:

‘Ruben Amorim tells Man Utd fans to STOP singing his name as new boss admits ‘I don’t like my chant’

It doesn’t seem like the kind of thing a new manager would do, to tell supporters to STOP singing a song in support of him. Amorim is obviously ‘bonkers’ and practises corners before matches but this seems a step too far.

Except obviously he has not ‘called for Manchester United fans to stop chanting his name’ and Neil Custis knows that. Amorim simply quite performatively said he’d rather they “chant for the players and for the club…because they are on the pitch and I’m outside the pitch”.

He also said he’s “really honoured” and feels “a connection with the supporters”. He did not tell them to ‘STOP singing his name’.

Ru the day

Those Amorim quotes do seem to have confused the tabloidocracy, going by this from David McDonnell in the Daily Mirror.

The headline: ‘Ruben Amorim admits Man Utd fans have already left him feeling embarrassed’

The opening paragraph: ‘Ruben Amorim has admitted he feels slightly embarrassed by Manchester United fans already chanting his name.’

The quote: “I feel a little bit, not embarrassed, but because I’m the coach, they have to chant for the players and for the club.”

Someone ought to be ’embarrassed’, but it’s not Amorim.

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