Football transfer rumours: Newcastle target summer move for Justin Kluivert?

The transfer window may have been quietly closed by a diligent employee of the Football Association who doesn’t mind working late because they’re a bit of a night owl, but plenty of mouths are still wide open, speculating about what will happen when the window reopens in the summer.

Newcastle quite like the idea of Bournemouth’s Justin Kluivert scoring more hat-tricks at St James’ Park and will move for him if Alexander Isak is tempted into the arms of another. Newcastle and Spurs also remain keen on Crystal Palace defender Marc Guéhi, who will have only one year left on his contract come the summer.

Arsenal may not have managed to sign a No 9 in January but Mikel Arteta has big plans for the summer. Most of them involve Benjamin Sesko, Nico Williams (not to be confused with Neco Williams of Nottingham Forest, or Christa Päffgen) and Martín Zubimendi. Reports that they want to troll Erling Haaland by signing Hashtag United midfielder Percy Kiangebeni, also known as PK Humble, are unconfirmed.

There is still one transfer window open, but only free agents are allowed to clamber through it. Willian, 36, may do just that and return to Fulham after conspicuously failing to live his best life at Olympiakos.

João Félix’s loan move from Chelsea to Milan should be officially announced on Tuesday; likewise Tyrell Malacia’s temporary move from Manchester United to PSV Eindhoven.

And with that, we’re off to watch Sky Sports News for the day, just in case.

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