'I'm getting the old Kevin back' reveals openly gay GAA star as he hails All-Ireland winner's gesture after coming out

His parents' reaction to him coming out was typically Irish

'BETTER ME' ‘I’m getting the old Kevin back’ reveals openly gay GAA star as he hails All-Ireland winner’s gesture after coming out

KEVIN PENROSE was four days into his self-imposed isolation in a Thailand hotel room when he realised something had to give.

For the better part of the previous decade, the 31-year-old had been locked in an internal struggle, striving to find his place in a confusing world.

4 Kevin Penrose spoke about his experience coming out as gay Credit: David Fitzgerald/Sportsfile

4 Kevin alongside Armagh footballer Mark Shields, referee David Gough, camogie player Hannah Looney, Belong To CEO Moninne Griffith and Musgrave's Maighread Cremin officially launch SuperValu's new limited-edition Pride themed Bag for Life Credit: David Fitzgerald/Sportsfile

In 2022, following the Covid-19 pandemic, Penrose travelled to Asia, but those feelings of confusion and doubt followed him there.

It culminated in a FaceTime call with his mum, during which the Aghyaran Saint Davogs clubman finally came out as gay.

While now one of the GAA's few openly homosexual male players and proud of that fact, it took some time for him to get there.

He explained to SunSport: "I think the first moment was probably like my later teens, maybe like 17/18 years old.

"It's already a time where you're trying to figure out yourself and where you want to go - if you want to go to college or go work or what you want to do with your life.

"Ever since I came out, I think everything else in my life just sort of fell into place.

"If you asked me three years ago if I'd be on the phone talking to yourself about my experience and how open and so freely about it, I would have called you mad!"

Already a vulnerable place to be, a teenage Penrose's situation was not made any easier by growing up in a sporting arena.

He comes from fine stock, with his brother Martin having won Sam Maguire with Tyrone, while Kevin himself played gaelic football both for his club Aghyaran and school.

While he did his GCSE exams in a mixed school, he moved to an all-boys' school for his A-levels.

Tomas O'Se calls out GAA's mid-season rule change but fellow Sunday Game pundit disagrees

It meant being surrounded by fellow teenage boys, some of whom would off-handedly use sensitive terms and slurs - less out of malice and more out of ignorance as to their impact.

Penrose admitted: "You're trying to make new friends. You're starting fresh, essentially, and you do want to start off on the right foot to fit in.

"That sort of resonated over to my club football, as well, like trying to break into the senior football team at the same time.

"Once you're not making it in there as well you're sort of, 'okay I'm not a good footballer anymore.'

"Everyone's trying to get ahead and stand out and be the best in the room and if there's terms thrown around, and even it might be seen as banter to them, to me I got to the point where I actually took offence to that.

"You're just thinking, 'okay I can't act or talk or I have to partake in this behaviour to sort of fit in so I don't draw attention to myself'.

"If I react to it then they're gonna call me gay."

ON HIS TRAVELS

It wasn't until he went travelling that Penrose began to process the many questions he faced concerning his sexuality.

He went to university in Liverpool, during which he also played gaelic football, while he would also travel to America to work in summer camps.

In the aftermath of the Covid-19 pandemic, Kevin set off for Asia, admitting that he was trying to escape from his mental anguish.

He added: "I used travel as a way to sort of run away and I thought the feelings will go away because I'm travelling.

"I'm not in those environments any more and I'm away from Gaelic football.

"I was still feeling all those feelings and bottling it up with myself just in a different environment, if it was in Liverpool or in America or in Asia.

"I still just assumed it's the football environment that's making me feel this way but, in reality, it's myself.

"The feelings and everything just kept following me around until I got to Asia and just got to a point where I was like something's got to give."

"A lot of people would still be hesitant to talk about my sexuality. Not that they don't want to, they just don't know how to go about it or they just don't feel comfortable yet talking about it."

Penrose is a content creator and regularly documents his extensive travels.

Even now, telling his story over the phone, he is back in Meath having spent a couple of days in Mayo, Connemara, and Donegal, while he will shortly be flying to Manchester.

But four months into his Asian expedition, the motivation dwindled as he was staying in a hostel in Phuket, Thailand.

Penrose called his mum under the guise of a general catch-up but with the ultimate intention of telling her what he had always known but was afraid to admit.

He likened the reaction, which he had catastrophised in his own head, to being typically Irish in the best way.

Penrose revealed: "I was still like shooting my content and trying to make posts online and the love for that wasn't really there anymore.

"I remember the hotel room very specifically; it was just a dark hotel room with a tiny window and, to me, it was like, 'okay is this my rock bottom.'

"I didn't leave that room for about four or five days, just me and my thoughts.

"It was one of them conversations where you kept asking silly questions just to keep the conversation going as long as possible.

"I know my mum would be sensing something's wrong or something's not right if he's staying on the phone for this long

"It just got to the point where I told her and it was just so normalized and everything I thought would go wrong didn't happen and it was just such a normal Irish response.

"With dad, as well, it was like, 'all right very good, well done. How's the weather over there?'"

4 Ronan McNamee encouraged Kevin Penrose to return to gaelic football Credit: David Fitzgerald/Sportsfile

With that weight off his shoulders, Penrose told his extended family, and then the world via social media.

When he came home to Ireland, he had to come out again to friends who were not aware, the reaction from whom amounting to: "congratulations, what you up to these days? Are you back for long?"

While he considered a return to gaelic football, Penrose was nervous to take the plunge, unsure as to how he would be received.

That was until Ronan McNamee - a fellow Aghyaran clubman who is an All-Ireland champion, three-time Ulster winner, and former All-Star - reached out to his fellow Tyrone native.

Thanks to his words of encouragement, Penrose returned to club football and still plays for Aghyaran to this day.

Kevin said: "We've grown up together in the same school, he's a couple of years older than me but we're always around the same social circles.

"We played football together growing up and I'm really good friends with his wife Clara.

"Ronan was just the one that was sort of, 'oh, you'll come back to football' sort of thing.

"It made me realise that my club doesn't have a problem with that sort of thing.

"A lot of people would still be hesitant to talk about my sexuality. Not that they don't want to, they just don't know how to go about it or they just don't feel comfortable yet talking about it.

"I think having the likes of Ronan, a top senior footballer within our club and county at the time, it speaks volumes that he's willing to have the conversations."

'AUTHENTIC SELF'

Penrose has relived all of the above repeatedly over the three years since he came out.

Earlier this year, he explained the process on an episode of the BBC's GAA Social podcast.

He has been doing so again over the last week in conjunction Pride Month and with the launch of SuperValu’s new limited-edition Pride themed Bag for Life.

Earlier this month, he took part in the Gaelic Players' Association Pride brunch alongside Conor Meyler and Mark Shields, the latter of whom is also gay.

It is a story that he finds easier and more enjoyable to tell now, while he has been an active LGBTQ+ rights advocate.

And he is hopeful that the GAA is in a better position for members of the LGBTQ+ community.

He said: "I'm sort of getting the old Kevin back and a better version of myself and I really am just everyday being my authentic self.

"I feel like my story is no longer my story in a sense. I feel like it's someone else's story now that they can take something from it.

"Thinking back to whenever I was going through all those feelings at that time, I didn't really see any footballer who has gone through the same thing as me.

"You had the likes of Donal Og Cusack who come out and it was highlighted but sort of forgotten about in a sense and you think back that was such a long time ago.

"Even the likes of Mark Shields, for example, who had recently just spoken about his experiences playing for Armagh and how well they have welcomed him in.

"If my club can do it and if Armagh can do it, then why can't this be replicated throughout all of Ireland and throughout all the county teams.

"With the GAA and their motto 'where we all belong', I think it's there's no better time to really push it."

SuperValu’s limited edition rainbow tote is designed to be carried with pride and is available to purchase for €3. Profits from the sale of the bags will go to Belong To, the national LGBTQ+ youth organisation.

Click here to read article