"Being England captain becomes a big part of your identity. It's an all-encompassing job. You're always thinking about it, even if you're on holiday."Heather Knight was speaking at the start of the 2024 summer, her ninth as England captain. It would be her last.Warning: This piece contains language that some readers may find offensive.An awful winter, including an early exit from the T20 World Cup and a clean-sweep humiliation in the Ashes, meant change was inevitable. Not even a skipper as successful, tenured and respected as Knight was safe.If being replaced by Nat Sciver-Brunt meant one part of Knight's identity was lost, there was another that had lain dormant, ready to be revived and unleashed."I used to have an alter ego when I first got into the team," Knight tells BBC Sport. "Shitbag Shelley."That prankster, rebellious side got supressed when I was in a leadership position."The girls didn't know I wasn't captain anymore. When I sent a message out, I said 'watch out, Shitbag Shelley is back'."For Knight (and possibly Shelley), the warning sent to her team-mates meant one decision had been taken.Some leaders find it hard to return to the ranks. Knight had been captain for more of her England career than not. In that same interview from last summer, she expressed uncertainty over whether she could eventually play under another skipper.When push came to shove, Knight found it "pretty easy" to continue playing for England, but a further setback was just around the corner. Three games into Knight's new normal, a T20 against West Indies at Chelmsford in May, she suffered a hamstring injury that put her out for the rest of the summer."I was just getting my head around what not being captain looked like, embracing the extra freedom, then bang, injured," says Knight."In a high emotional state, you think 'do I want to do this rehab, do I want to carry on playing'. That was a very fleeting thought, an emotional reaction to being injured."A summer of rehab stretched out into Knight's future. She was ruled out of The Hundred and in a race to be fit for the World Cup in India and Sri Lanka, starting on Tuesday. The hours, days and months of resting, stretching and check-ups also gave plenty of time to reflect on what had gone before.Recency bias can paint an unfair picture of Knight's time in charge. The ending turned sour, yet before that she guided England to World Cup glory in 2017 and drawn Ashes series against the mighty Australians in both 2017-18 and 2023.Perhaps more importantly, Knight led English women's cricket into the professional era and was never anything less than a superb role model in the growth of the game."The time the injury gave me helped me get over it a little bit better, move on and focus on what I need to do," says Knight."I'm pretty proud of what I achieved in those nine years. It didn't finish how I wanted, but that's life sometimes. The powers that be wanted to have a fresh start and move on, and I'm completely accepting of that. I'm ready to close that chapter of my life."I feel like I have reflected and moved on. I'm hugely proud of that period of my career. I gave it everything and I'm pretty happy with the job I did."Being injured in summertime can give a cricketer a glimpse into normal life. While Knight still spent time mentoring London Spirit in The Hundred, she went to weddings she otherwise would have missed and travelled to watch the Lionesses' victorious Euros campaign in Switzerland.Inspired by Spirit and England team-mates Issy Wong and Charlie Dean, Knight has also taken up the guitar."I'm awful, actually," says Knight. "I have an extreme love of music, and zero talent. In Birmingham we went to Issy Wong's local guitar shop, where she was treated like a returning hero, and those guys helped me pick out a guitar."Hamstring on the mend, Knight and her guitar have made it to the World Cup. It is another tilt on the biggest prize in women's cricket, three years on from a run to the final at a Covid-delayed tournament in New Zealand. For Knight, it is one more World Cup than she expected to reach."At the time I thought 2022 might be my last World Cup and I put a lot of pressure on myself to do really well," Knight explains."That World Cup came at the end of a tough Ashes campaign, played in Covid restrictions. To be honest, my brain was a bit scrambled by that point."Realistically, this will be Knight's last 50-over World Cup. She will be 35 in December, yet any thoughts of ending her playing career are only coming from others."Maybe I am at the age where I should be retiring, and that is a thing that comes from externally, rather than how I feel," she says."People ask you more about it. 'When are you hanging the boots up' or 'What's your plan after you finish'. I still feel like I can make an impact and I'm playing really well, especially in T20 cricket. I probably had the best couple of years of my career in that format."For that reason, the T20 World Cup on home soil next summer is an obvious target, an opportunity to recreate the magic of the 2017 triumph at Lord's. Australia are due to tour in 2027, but Knight says it is "silly" to look so far ahead to another crack at the Ashes."My hamstring might pop again and I'll be saying 'see you later'."Given what Knight has been through in the past year, it is a triumph to reach the World Cup, to be in line to play for England against South Africa in Guwahati on Friday."I've been through the mill to even get on the plane," says Knight. "It's a big achievement just to be here. I want to make the most of it."
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