Football transfer rumours: Gianluigi Donnarumma to Manchester City?

If you had suggested, as Gianluigi Donnarumma’s Brobdingnagian hands were extinguishing Arsenal’s Champions League hopes in May, that Paris Saint-Germain would bundle him out the door marked Do One a few months later, you’d have been laughed out of the football WhatsApp group faster than you could say ‘Toxic Hipsters’.

Who’s laughing now? You are! Or at least you would be had the above scenario been a representation of reality rather than the Rumour Mill’s exhausted imagination. Luis Enrique wants a different profile of goalkeeper – imagine if someone had used that phrase within earshot of Brian Clough or Bill Shankly – and Donnarumma may well be using his giant frame and even bigger aura in the Premier League this season.

Chelsea, Manchester City and Manchester United are among the sides unable to believe their potential luck. If Pep Guardiola draws the 6ft 4in straw, Ederson will be offloaded to Galatasaray faster than you can say “we need a different profile of goalkeeper, Brian”.

Real Madrid are considering cutting out the middle man, known in some cultures as Liverpool Football Club, by buying Adam Wharton direct from Crystal Palace. Any move is unlikely to happen this summer.

Liverpool have eyes on a different Eagle, Palace captain Marc Guéhi. Parma’s teenage centre-back Giovanni Leoni also gives good data and is a potential back-up.

Palace immortal Eberechi Eze is still being courted by Spurs and Arsenal, with Thomas Frank’s manic charisma putting Spurs in pole position.

Newcastle’s windus horribilis will improve a bit if they secure the signing of Jacob Ramsey from Aston Villa, who in turn would like to re-sign Marco Asensio on loan from PSG.

Bayer Leverkusen have their peepers trained on Brighton’s Federico Buonanotte, while their forward Amine Adli could be on his way to Bournemouth.

Christopher Nkunku wants to leave Chelsea for Bayern Munich, while Manchester United’s Alejandro Garnacho has reportedly (OK, OK, someone said so on Twitter.com) told his nearest and dearest that Chelsea are the only club he wants to join.

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Manchester United, meanwhile, are dreaming of Bayern defender Dayot Upamecano. Aren’t we all?

Last, and definitely not least because he looks a damn fine player, West Ham have reportedly had a £30m offer for Southampton’s Mateus Fernandes turned down. But like the haemorrhoids, they’ll be back.

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