Former Premier League star Jason McAteer, 53, breaks down as he bravely opens up on battle with depression

The 53-year-old has opened up on the demons he battled following his retirement

'EVERYTHING HAD GONE' Former Premier League star Jason McAteer, 53, breaks down as he bravely opens up on battle with depression

JASON MCATEER has bravely opened up on his battle with depression - admitting he contemplated taking his own life.

The former Liverpool and Republic of Ireland international hung up his boots in 2007 following a three-year stint with Tranmere Rovers.

5 Jason McAteer has bravely opened up on his battle with depression following his retirement Credit: BEIN SPORTS

5 McAteer had a 15-year professional career, in which he made over 100 appearances for Liverpool Credit: GETTY

5 McAteer retired from football in 2007 following a stint with Tranmere Rovers Credit: PA

Adjusting to life after football, as it is for many former players, has proven difficult for McAteer - who often works as a pundit.

But the sporadic nature of the work left him without a sense of "purpose" in his life, which he once contemplated ending while en-route to pick up his son.

During an appearance on beIN SPORTS' Tales, Tears and Trophies podcast, an emotional and teary-eyed McAteer recalled: "I just had no purpose, mate, it was no structure.

"The TV stuff, I mean I wasn't working every day of the week. It would be like maybe one show a week or maybe two shows a week.

"It was very sporadic. Days and days and days with nothing to do, yeah.

"I got to the tunnel, that tunnel between the Wirral and Liverpool.

"My child, who I was keeping this relationship with under difficult circumstances, lived on the other side of this tunnel.

"And I was driving through the tunnel, and it upsets me because it takes me back to this moment because I can feel it.

If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 116123.

5 An emotional Jason McAteer shed a tear as he recalled his battle with depression Credit: BEIN SPORTS

"And as you go out the daylight into the tunnel light, it's like this kind of light. I remember thinking to myself, 'I'm just going to swing the car here and just end it.' That's how easy it is."

McAteer, 53, fought with every ounce of his being to not let the dark thoughts in his mind prevail and take his own life.

He continued: "I was fighting myself not to do it, fighting going, 'Do it, do it, do it, do it do it.' And I'd be like, 'No. Do it. No'.

"And I'd be fighting the steering wheel and I remember coming towards the end of the tunnel and it was like the daylight was opening up.

"And I remember coming out the tunnel thinking, 'Thank God. Just thank God'.

"And I went to get my little boy, because I always used to take him to the pictures. I took him to the pictures and I drove home."

5 Jason McAteer has struggled to fill the void football has left in his life Credit: GETTY

McAteer was overcome by a wave of emotion shortly afterwards and bravely opened up to his mum on her doorstep.

He said: "I got to my mum's, my mum lived 10 minutes around the corner.

"And I knocked on a door and I remember just saying, 'I can't do it anymore. 'That's it, that's it.' And I was just at that point."

A visibly emotional McAteer then broke down as he said: "It was tough. Just like everything had gone - I don't half miss it.

"I miss - I miss everything about playing. I miss it. Yeah, I just miss it.

"Just like running, just running out, just running out, just free on a footy pitch. No problems."

If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 116123.

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